Divorce is something that happens to many families, and the parents almost always know that this is not their children’s fault. They may even take this for granted or assume that it’s obvious that it has nothing to do with the kids.
However, children often don’t see it the same way. They often blame themselves or at least wonder if they did something to cause it. They may question if their own misbehavior caused one of their parents to want to leave, or they may think that they did something wrong. When you’re talking to them about this, it’s very important to stress that the divorce is not their fault and to keep repeating it. Even if it seems obvious to you, you need to say it repeatedly for their sake.
Why do children feel this way?
There are a lot of factors that play into this, but one of the biggest ones is that children always sort of look at the world through their own lens. They feel like everything is important because of how it relates to them. It’s difficult to call this selfish since they’re so young and haven’t learned any better yet, but it is a self-focused worldview.
This may mean that they also believe that the bad things that happen in their lives are their fault. If they perceive the divorce as a negative outcome, then it’s natural for them to assume that they caused it. This is just one thing to keep in mind as you look into your legal options and consider the steps you’ll need to take as you end your marriage.