You may not look forward to having to talk to your ex after a divorce, but that’s likely what’s going to be necessary if you share children. Your children’s needs do not stop just because you and your ex have to end your romantic relationship with each other.
It can be difficult to have a decent conversation with your ex, especially if there are still intense emotions present. This is common in the period immediately after the split. These tips may help to quell the contention as you try to discuss your children’s needs.
Stay focused on the children
One of the most important things you need to do is to remain focused solely on the children. You can’t fall back into speaking about the things that led to the degradation of the relationship. Keeping the focus on the children lets you work on the issues you need resolved for them.
Keep emotions out of the discussions
It may help you to think of conversations with your ex as business matters. There will be some emotional pull since they involve your children, but you have to try to keep your emotions in check while you’re speaking. This may help to keep the conversation from spiraling out of control.
Having communication guidelines covered in your parenting plan is also a good idea. This may include resolution methods for when the discussions become too contentious. It’s best to get the entire parenting plan in order as soon as possible after the split so everyone can adjust to the new way of life. The plan may be hard to set up, but it’s critical to do it in a way that reflects the best interests of your children.